There are a number of things certain in life

There are a number of things certain in life

There are a number of things certain in life and one’s death is one of them
And so, it is, we meet up today, in this place, they call a Crem
Now, there’s time and a place for humour and whilst I do not want to make light of my
demise
I’m not sure whether my parting has come as a great surprise
I’ve done this and that, been here and there and lived as I have done
And hopefully in those years that have passed, we’ve shared a bit of fun
I might have been a bit eccentric or a bit zany in my ways
But hey, that’s me, enjoying life, over the years, the months, the days
So now the end has happened, a curtailing of my life
No more fun and joviality, no more trouble and no more strife
For those of you here today, I thank you for coming along
But don’t blame me if you don’t like the event, I chose neither the prayers nor the song
And as for the eulogy or whatever is said, I trust it’s as fantastic as me
Not that I’m vain or anything of course, though it sounds if I’ve made a decree
Enough, I’ve gone and you must go on, without me that will be a bit of a blow
Never mind, you’ll join me wherever one day, that is certain I know
But take your time, keep your feet on the ground, live your life to the full
Be good, be happy, have a smile on your face, and never, but never be dull
So, that’s it. To you all, whoever you are, you can shortly go on your way
If they’ve arranged drinks and nibbles to follow, I trust you’ll find them OK. If not, blame my
executors.
Over and out, my lips are now sealed, I make no further sound
My journey concludes, like it or not, they’re putting me underground. That’ll shut me up!